Have you ever resorted to asking someone else to make a phone call for you? Have you ever made excuses for not attending social gatherings? Have you ever sat at a restaurant table with friends and said, "Yeah, I'll have what she's having," just to avoid the stutter that would inevitably happen when you'd try to say, "fillet mignon please, rare thanks". That's what you really wanted to order, but hey, if you can only say 'ffffffillet', what is the point of even trying? Everyone would just look at you, they'd be embarrassed, you'd be embarrassed, they'd think you're an idiot, blah, blah, blah. You know as well as I, all those negative destructive thoughts that flash through your mind. The whole thing just goes on and on. Some people who stutter have a circle of negativity that surrounds them the whole time, all they can think about is the next time they have to speak.
Worry and avoidance patterns are often set in place way back when the stutter appeared. Oftentimes a child in the playground who has shown signs of dysfluency may be bullied or picked on by his or her peers. This can happen simply because he speaks differently or perhaps can't answer a question quickly. Many negative thoughts PWS have in adulthood originate in childhood. We all know children can be cruel to each other one moment and the best of friends the next. Very often childhood verbal or non-verbal interactions involving psychological cruelty are forgotten immediately, but not every time. Some criticism of physical disability by children towards children can stick and be carried forward through life. By the time the affected individual turns thirty, that simple and innocent criticism at the age of six has been blown out of all proportion. Guess who blows it out of proportion, we do! No one's tougher on ourselves than us. We stutterers are very good at pulling ourselves apart. "I can't do this, I can't do that, people think this... about me! I'm hopeless!" You know the sort of stuff I'm referring to. If I had a dollar for every negative thought I had about myself when my stutter was holding me back, I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE.
Recovery from stuttering all gets down to positive thinking. Give it a go, shoot for the stars, just do it! This thinking will set you on the right path. Don't worry if you falter along the way. Keep at it. Maintenance is the key!
If you can honestly say that your stutter is not affecting you and your life in a negative way then, fantastic, you keep on keeping on. But for those of you like me, who have struggled for a long time battling your dysfluency, don't fool yourself. Don't allow this thing to rule your life any more! Don't let it push you around.
There is an excellent home-based program out there that will support you for life. Accept that you need to do something for yourself, something that, with effort and perseverance, will change your life in many ways, not just control your stutter. Join me on that fantastic road to fluency.
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